What I Learned About Networking Going to NYC Tech & Business Events Every Night for Three Years

Introduction

I’ve met billionaires in Prague, artists in Rome, tech meetup leaders in Bulgaria… the list goes on.

The location may change, but these lessons do not.

From May 2014 – to May 2017 I went to NYC technology and business events every night.

At first I wanted to learn from people so I could figure out what to do with my life. Then when I knew, I wanted to sell the services I was learning about. Then when I realized direct selling didn’t work, I went back to wanting to learn – because I found being curious about others’ experiences was the best way to sell my own.

I published the original version of this article on May 16, 2017.

Now I’m going to NYC tech and business events every night once again. 2014 – 2017 gave me one of the greatest wellsprings of connections that anybody could get. Since I don’t spend much time in NYC anymore, I want to properly utilize this city again, while I am here.

Even though these are events in NYC – these lessons apply to people anywhere. NYC is the most diverse city in the world and on any given day I’m meeting people from multiple continents.

When I travel, which is often, I take these lessons with me.

I hope they bring you as much utility as they continue to bring me.

Keep in mind

Long ago, I used to think that if I could be more of a “hard closer” like Grant Cardone, I would make more money. Now I prefer to be more like Dale Carnegie.

I prefer to have a lot of top-of-mind awareness from relationships. This means when people think of my niche, they think of me.

Instead of having to sell people, people come to me and ask.

I also have a network of people who can help me with anything. I’ve learned valuable things I otherwise would not have been privy to from this network. People have trusted me with secrets that have ended up being very lucrative.

From a purely social side, my social life brings me great joy and fulfillment. If somebody I meet doesn’t make me money, I still make a new friend, and this makes me happy.

The lessons

I’m assuming that if you are reading this, you want something from other people. If you’re like most people, what you want is more income. However, if you are looking simply for a more bountiful social life – most of this list still applies!

I’ve personally found that the best way to sell services or recurring high-ticket items is to have people want to be your friends. Here’s my lessons on how to do this:

• Get to a networking event early.
  • Early is the best time to make a connection.
  • People are most likely to want somebody to talk to early, before whatever the main event is (more boredom = easier time creating a relationship with a stranger).
• Don’t say what you do until the person you’re talking to asks. You don’t want to give off any hints of selling.
  • Not talking about yourself unless prompted to decreases the possibility of setting off red flags.
  • This also increases the likelihood of having an engaging, relationship-strengthening conversation.
• Continuing off the above, make sure to listen to and engage with what the person you’ve just met is saying. This is basic advice, but if you do this, you’re less likely to set off red flags because, again, you’re not talking about yourself.
• Don’t bounce around talking to many different people, trying to meet the most lucrative contact. Everybody knows somebody, especially if you’re networking in the right places.
• Be okay with spending most of your time talking to the first or second person you meet, even if you’re unsure of that person providing you with business.
  • This makes networking more fun and long lasting.
  • This is easier than meeting a lot of people.
  • This makes networking less transactional and more win-win.
    • This makes networking more effective.
• Create relationships instead of transactions.
  • Strong relationships create top-of-mind awareness within your niche.
    • In my case, when a contact hears a friend complaining about needing more visibility for their brand, I want that contact to immediately think of recommending me. “Oh, I know somebody who’s very good at that!”
  • As previously mentioned, immediately trying to sell to somebody creates a strong sense of aversion in the other person.
• Introduce contacts to one another within the coming months after meeting them. Try to reward people who know you with somebody who will either provide benefit or be of interest to them.
  • This strengthens reciprocity probabilities.
  • This strengthens your relationships with people and is a good way to strengthen multiple relationships while saving time.
• Don’t try to directly meet check signers who need your services. Instead, try to meet people who will both give you referrals and be likely to work with people who need your services.
• Learn who is actually most likely to give you referrals and then go to places where these people want to network.
• If you’re at a networking event in the evening, go to dinner afterwards with the person you spend most of your time with.
  • Doing multiple activities together strengthens connections.
• Try to have at least 1/9th of the meals you eat out be with somebody else.
  • “Never eat alone” is a very widely overlooked sales mantra.
    • Eating with other people makes even more utility out of just eating and is a great way to strengthen/freshen relationships with old contacts.
  • “1/9th” is assuming you’re eating out three times a day.
• Even if you’re not making much income, do not hesitate on spending money to eat out with somebody else.
  • As discussed above, the ROI is huge on this activity.
  • A mindset of money as scarce and precious is likely to result in less income.

The ultimate objective from doing all this is to create an expansive web of solid relationships that will result in a consistent stream of brand awareness and referrals with little further lead generation.